Not long after the earthquake in Japan, Glenn Beck, in his infinite wisdom, stated on his radio show that perhaps the earthquake was a result of people not following the 10 Commandments. Aside from being a completely asinine assumption, it highlighted one of the biggest issues I have with fundamentalist religion, and that is every disaster, natural or otherwise, must somehow be a punishment from God.
Beck is far from the first to make a statement of this nature; last year, Pat Robertson pointed out that the people of Haiti had made a pact with the devil in 1796 (failing to mention that it was done to relieve them of the oppressive rule of the French, which was as close to living in Hell as one can get), so perhaps the earthquake was a result of that pact. Rush "Maybe John Edwards wants a woman who does more with her mouth than talk" Limbaugh claimed the earthquake was punishment for Obamacare. When I hear someone make a comment along this line, whether it be Glenn Beck, or Pat Robertson or Rush Limbaugh (Rush? Really?), I often wonder just how well they really know the Bible they so claim to follow, or if they really know it at all. (Notice I'm not touching Fred Phelps - that asshole is in a league all his own.)
It is true that the Old Testament was full of punishment; you looked at someone wrong and you were liable to end up nothing more than ashes in a pile. Cities were burned, first born died, civilizations were razed, and every living creature on earth, save those in a floating boat, drowned, so yes, punishment was a very real factor in the OT way of life. But something happened around 2,000 years ago that was suppose to change all of that, and that was the coming of Jesus Christ. He was suppose to have brought a new way, a new meaning to the world where this sort of atonement would no longer be required. He was suppose to bring peace; his blood became the sacrifice and he was the way, the truth and the light.
So what am I missing?
I'm sure someone will look at this and tell me that as an atheist, I can't possibly understand, and that person would be right...I don't. I cannot justify in my own mind how they can say "God is punishing", when Jesus supposedly bore the sins of the world on his own shoulders. I mean, didn't he die, so we, in a spiritual sense, would not have to? Or is this simply suppose to be of God's own picking and choosing, and people like Beck are the chosen? I'm sorry, but that makes no sense.
And there is another problem with these assumptions; I have heard that the disasters in Japan and China are a result of their "godless" beliefs. While it is true that the majority of Chinese and Japanese are not Christian, that isn't the case in Haiti, or Peru, or even Louisiana. Haiti and Peru are predominately Catholic; in fact, over 90% of Haitians claim Catholicism...so does the argument then become that Catholics aren't true Christians? Where do we draw the line with the: "God must be punishing them for something!" rhetoric?
What really angers me about people like Beck and Robertson (and Dobson and Osteen and so on and so forth) is that they diminish true Christianity; if I believed in false prophets, these people would strike me as such. While I am not a believer, I know people who are (one of my best friends, as a matter of fact), and I have never once heard them pass this kind of judgment on another. In fact, the ones I know have been the first to offer whatever assistance they could to those who have been struck by a disaster of whatever sort, whether next door, or halfway around the world.
Yet this is not recognized; instead, people like the ones above become the faces of what the others see as Christianity, and instead of realizing the good, they resent the bad. Honestly, if you had lost family in Japan, and you heard Beck say that maybe it happened because we weren't following the 10 Commandments, followed by the phrase: "I'm just saying", would you think, oh! He must be right! Or would you be more likely to want to find him and tell him to go fuck himself? I know what would happen if it were me, and I would not be nearly so nice about it.
And what saddens me is there are people who actually believe this; who follow him and Robertson (among others) blindly, without question. They would rather be told what the Bible says, instead of picking it up, dusting it off, opening it up, and finding out for themselves. I have always found it amusing that as an atheist, I know more about Christianity (and religion in general) than a lot who claim the faith, and I'm not alone; a Pew Forum study found that those who identified as atheist or agnostic were often far more knowledgeable about what was in the Bible than those who identified as Christian. When I took the test, and not just the little 10 question quiz, I nailed every question. However, the average Christian scored somewhere between 50 and 60%...doesn't that strike you as odd? (The fact that I am a Biblical scholar not withstanding, of course.)
At any rate...
Personally, one of the best things I think Christians can do is actually find out what the book they believe in says for themselves, instead of letting people like Beck tell them, and then talk for themselves, rather than let people like Robertson talk for them.
Perhaps then earthquakes wouldn't be punishment, and Christianity as a whole would be a lot better off.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Why sell yourself short?
It has been awhile since I have visited my blog, and I have been told from more than a few I should start it back up, although I have no idea why my random musings would be of any interest to anyone but me. Yet here I am...
A friend (whom I consider to be a good one, and with whom I have had some incredible conversations, which I am missing greatly) sent me something that he had written to look over and offer an opinion on, and I did. I also told this person that I thought he had a great deal of potential. This, in turn, was met with quite a bit of resistance, as if it was unfathomable that there was indeed a talent there not yet recognized. Our exchange ended when I asked this very question: "Why sell yourself short?"
It is the same conversation I have frequently with my oldest child; she has so much going for her, but she also has a hard time believing it. For some reason I don't understand, since her talent is not the same as my talent, she figures she has no talent, no special ability, at all.
Everyone knows I write, and not only do I write, but I write everything imaginable. I write humor, satire, political, business, religious, erotica, fiction...if I ever focused down, I could probably make a fortune (romance is out, though; it's stupid and not happening in this lifetime). The fact of the matter is I have always been able to write, and I have always written - it is just what I do. My mind formulates everything in words; the same way a photographer can capture an amazing scene in the every day mundane, or an artist can portray an entire emotion with a stroke of a brush, I can turn a blank piece of paper into whatever I want it to be simply with the words I choose to put on it, and make my audience see what I want them to see, and how I want them to see it. Furthermore, I can produce an entire piece of work in the same time it would take most, even accomplished writers, to produce one chapter. Call it what you want; a talent or a God given gift, but whatever it is, it is something I possess.
So what does this little bit of ego blowing have to do with my daughter? Simply put, she can't write like I do, and she cuts herself down for that one simple thing, without ever acknowledging everything else she can do. For instance, my mother was an incredibly gifted artist who could have worked for Disney, had the drugs and alcohol and other torments not consumed her life. I see this very gift blossoming in not just one, but both of my children; both are highly artistic and creative, and I've tried to nurture that potential.
But it isn't writing.
And, truth be known, my oldest daughter can write...when she takes the time and puts her mind to doing it well. Of course she can't write like I do, but in her frustration at pointing out that I am a prodigy (every chance she gets), she forgets that while the above is true, and I have always just been able to do this, I also have 27 years on her, and I couldn't write at 11 the same way I do at 38. Not only that, but some of the most accomplished authors are those who have had to work for that accomplishment - the words don't come as easily, but they do come eventually, and while it make take them longer to make the vision in the mind meet the words on the paper, it does happen. As I tried to explain to my friend, who was lamenting the fact that it took a long time to put together what was meant to be said, it isn't the length of time it takes you to do it, but whether you are proud of it when it's done, and he very well should have been.
Besides, like I tell my daughter, a gift is only a gift if you use it, as is evidenced by my mother, and, to a lesser extent, me. We were both born with these extraordinary abilities, but my mother died without ever letting hers take her where it could have. As for me, I use mine, but not nearly to the extent I should; sometimes this becomes a burden, as I am often reminded by the well meaning that I "could be doing so much more with it"; to which I once retorted: "Spend a week in my mind, and let's see what you do with it." (Needless to say, that exchange ended rather quickly, but it's true; my mind writes everything, and sometimes it is hard to sort it all out.)
I guess my point is that to cut yourself down simply because you don't have the same talent or ability as someone else, or if you do, possibly not to the same extent, is just not fair, because you are failing to recognize what you do have, even if it is nothing more than the ability to be a good person. I try to explain to my daughter that she doesn't have to be like me to be special, and at some point, she will realize her own unique person; but no matter how hard I work to impart this particular bit of wisdom to her, I am also figuring out that she will have to discover this for herself...and I hope she does.
Of course, I have also told her she shouldn't want to be like me, because I can be extremely short tempered, cranky, moody, and sometimes downright miserable. In fact, it has been scientifically proven that people who are highly intelligent and highly gifted are more prone to psychosocial problems, mental instability, manic and clinical depression; alcoholism amd drug addiction; and sometimes sociopathic behaviors, because our minds never shut down; even when we sleep, they are constantly going...it never stops. While there are medications to curb this, it also dulls the very thing that makes us who we are, and I personally don't like that sensation of being "dulled down". I guess with every blessing, a little curse must fall.
But, as often happens with a child her age, just about everything I say goes in one ear and out the other...or at least I think it does. Then again, maybe it doesn't, and maybe somewhere in the rolled eyes and exasperated sighs, she is actually retaining a little of what I tell her, and maybe someday, it will all surface and she will become the very person I already know she is...an incredible young lady of whom I am very proud.
Until then, I guess I will just have to remind her it really is "i" before "e", except after "c".
A friend (whom I consider to be a good one, and with whom I have had some incredible conversations, which I am missing greatly) sent me something that he had written to look over and offer an opinion on, and I did. I also told this person that I thought he had a great deal of potential. This, in turn, was met with quite a bit of resistance, as if it was unfathomable that there was indeed a talent there not yet recognized. Our exchange ended when I asked this very question: "Why sell yourself short?"
It is the same conversation I have frequently with my oldest child; she has so much going for her, but she also has a hard time believing it. For some reason I don't understand, since her talent is not the same as my talent, she figures she has no talent, no special ability, at all.
Everyone knows I write, and not only do I write, but I write everything imaginable. I write humor, satire, political, business, religious, erotica, fiction...if I ever focused down, I could probably make a fortune (romance is out, though; it's stupid and not happening in this lifetime). The fact of the matter is I have always been able to write, and I have always written - it is just what I do. My mind formulates everything in words; the same way a photographer can capture an amazing scene in the every day mundane, or an artist can portray an entire emotion with a stroke of a brush, I can turn a blank piece of paper into whatever I want it to be simply with the words I choose to put on it, and make my audience see what I want them to see, and how I want them to see it. Furthermore, I can produce an entire piece of work in the same time it would take most, even accomplished writers, to produce one chapter. Call it what you want; a talent or a God given gift, but whatever it is, it is something I possess.
So what does this little bit of ego blowing have to do with my daughter? Simply put, she can't write like I do, and she cuts herself down for that one simple thing, without ever acknowledging everything else she can do. For instance, my mother was an incredibly gifted artist who could have worked for Disney, had the drugs and alcohol and other torments not consumed her life. I see this very gift blossoming in not just one, but both of my children; both are highly artistic and creative, and I've tried to nurture that potential.
But it isn't writing.
And, truth be known, my oldest daughter can write...when she takes the time and puts her mind to doing it well. Of course she can't write like I do, but in her frustration at pointing out that I am a prodigy (every chance she gets), she forgets that while the above is true, and I have always just been able to do this, I also have 27 years on her, and I couldn't write at 11 the same way I do at 38. Not only that, but some of the most accomplished authors are those who have had to work for that accomplishment - the words don't come as easily, but they do come eventually, and while it make take them longer to make the vision in the mind meet the words on the paper, it does happen. As I tried to explain to my friend, who was lamenting the fact that it took a long time to put together what was meant to be said, it isn't the length of time it takes you to do it, but whether you are proud of it when it's done, and he very well should have been.
Besides, like I tell my daughter, a gift is only a gift if you use it, as is evidenced by my mother, and, to a lesser extent, me. We were both born with these extraordinary abilities, but my mother died without ever letting hers take her where it could have. As for me, I use mine, but not nearly to the extent I should; sometimes this becomes a burden, as I am often reminded by the well meaning that I "could be doing so much more with it"; to which I once retorted: "Spend a week in my mind, and let's see what you do with it." (Needless to say, that exchange ended rather quickly, but it's true; my mind writes everything, and sometimes it is hard to sort it all out.)
I guess my point is that to cut yourself down simply because you don't have the same talent or ability as someone else, or if you do, possibly not to the same extent, is just not fair, because you are failing to recognize what you do have, even if it is nothing more than the ability to be a good person. I try to explain to my daughter that she doesn't have to be like me to be special, and at some point, she will realize her own unique person; but no matter how hard I work to impart this particular bit of wisdom to her, I am also figuring out that she will have to discover this for herself...and I hope she does.
Of course, I have also told her she shouldn't want to be like me, because I can be extremely short tempered, cranky, moody, and sometimes downright miserable. In fact, it has been scientifically proven that people who are highly intelligent and highly gifted are more prone to psychosocial problems, mental instability, manic and clinical depression; alcoholism amd drug addiction; and sometimes sociopathic behaviors, because our minds never shut down; even when we sleep, they are constantly going...it never stops. While there are medications to curb this, it also dulls the very thing that makes us who we are, and I personally don't like that sensation of being "dulled down". I guess with every blessing, a little curse must fall.
But, as often happens with a child her age, just about everything I say goes in one ear and out the other...or at least I think it does. Then again, maybe it doesn't, and maybe somewhere in the rolled eyes and exasperated sighs, she is actually retaining a little of what I tell her, and maybe someday, it will all surface and she will become the very person I already know she is...an incredible young lady of whom I am very proud.
Until then, I guess I will just have to remind her it really is "i" before "e", except after "c".
Friday, November 19, 2010
Too many times it seems, as I have stated previously, we are suppose to take responsibility for the bad and give God the credit for the good; however, there is one time where this sense of twisted logic does not come into play, and that is when someone loses a baby. I have heard it said more than once to parents who are in the midst of mind numbing grief because they have lost a child that these things happen for a reason, and God must have had a plan.
The sad thing is that I don't think the person who is offering this sentiment as a means of comfort realizes how this only makes the loss hurt even worse; no one wants to think that a good and loving God would willingly put anyone through this kind of torture. While I have never had to endure this first hand, I cannot believe there is an equivalent to losing a child, especially when you have wanted and hoped for this little thing to come into your life, only to have it yanked from you, sometimes with no explanation.
Not only that, but the concept of a plan loses its cohesiveness when put into perspective; why is it that good people who want nothing more to be parents find themselves unable to conceive, or worse, end up losing a baby, while some argument for forced sterilization spawns another child he has no intention of supporting, or pops out her 8th drug addicted ward of the state? Where is the reasoning behind this? What, exactly, is the plan?
Perhaps the reason this is said is because the person standing by witnessing the grief doesn't know what else to say; death in any circumstance is hard to deal with, and people often look to whatever faith they have to help them endure. But often when one is dealing with the death of someone else's child, then his own faith is questioned and challenged, and he seeks to reaffirm his beliefs by conveying that God wouldn't have done this without a reason...right??!!
Truth is, at least in my mind, that there really is no reason and there is no plan; it simply just happens. It is an unfortunate fact that sometimes those who deserve the tragedies of life the least are the ones who get hit the hardest by them, and that includes babies and those who lose them. Nobody ever wants to go through this kind of heartbreak, but, unfortunately, some will. I guess the best we can do is to not offer thoughts of plans and reasons (or that at least you still have...; having one child never compensates for the loss of another. The void is still there, and is still as painful), but to simply say, I'm sorry, and I'm here for you.
There is nothing on this earth that will ever take the place of just being a friend.
The sad thing is that I don't think the person who is offering this sentiment as a means of comfort realizes how this only makes the loss hurt even worse; no one wants to think that a good and loving God would willingly put anyone through this kind of torture. While I have never had to endure this first hand, I cannot believe there is an equivalent to losing a child, especially when you have wanted and hoped for this little thing to come into your life, only to have it yanked from you, sometimes with no explanation.
Not only that, but the concept of a plan loses its cohesiveness when put into perspective; why is it that good people who want nothing more to be parents find themselves unable to conceive, or worse, end up losing a baby, while some argument for forced sterilization spawns another child he has no intention of supporting, or pops out her 8th drug addicted ward of the state? Where is the reasoning behind this? What, exactly, is the plan?
Perhaps the reason this is said is because the person standing by witnessing the grief doesn't know what else to say; death in any circumstance is hard to deal with, and people often look to whatever faith they have to help them endure. But often when one is dealing with the death of someone else's child, then his own faith is questioned and challenged, and he seeks to reaffirm his beliefs by conveying that God wouldn't have done this without a reason...right??!!
Truth is, at least in my mind, that there really is no reason and there is no plan; it simply just happens. It is an unfortunate fact that sometimes those who deserve the tragedies of life the least are the ones who get hit the hardest by them, and that includes babies and those who lose them. Nobody ever wants to go through this kind of heartbreak, but, unfortunately, some will. I guess the best we can do is to not offer thoughts of plans and reasons (or that at least you still have...; having one child never compensates for the loss of another. The void is still there, and is still as painful), but to simply say, I'm sorry, and I'm here for you.
There is nothing on this earth that will ever take the place of just being a friend.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
The Question of "Free Will"
One of the biggest issues I struggle with in terms of Christianity is the concept of "free will". I know what it is, and I know how it plays a role in religion, but that doesn't mean I understand it fully, nor do I get why those who do not have it are still subjected to the consequences of the actions of those who do, and this is one of the things that really made me question faith and religion altogether.
We all know the theory behind "free will"; Adam and Eve exercised it when they chose to eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and in this exercise of free will, they were disobedient and subsequently expelled from the Garden of Eden. Fair enough; to adults screw up and pay the price for their choice. But my problem is this: what about those who do not have conscious access to free will? Where is their protection until they do?
I have had this conversation with members of my group mainly about how it pertains to children, and my question has always been if God is suppose to be benevolent and loving, then why do children get born into poverty, why do they get beaten, why do they get molested and why do they die, often at the hands of those who are suppose to protect them? I have been told, in the greatest of faith, that it is because of our disobedience to God and because of our insistence on free will that the human race as a whole is subject to the punishment, and that includes the most defenseless among us. As an adult, I am perfectly willing to make my own choices, for whatever they are worth, and accept the outcome of those choices; however, a child does not have that right to choice.
A child does not choose to be born to a drug addict, or to be born in Africa, or to be abandoned in a dumpster, or to get cancer. A four year old will not opt to be molested by her mother's boyfriend; nor will a 9 year old say "yes" to becoming a toy for her stepfather, as well as becoming pregnant by him. No two year old I know would choose to be murdered by her mother, and an 8 year old is not going to ask to be stuffed into a suitcase. In short, these children do not have the free will so often touted as the cause for human misery. So where is God for these kids? Doesn't the Bible say, blessed are the children? If children are a gift and a blessing, shouldn't there be something in the contract that states they will be free from disease and torment and death until they are old enough to exercise the free will the rest of us are held accountable for?
The other issue I have with "free will" is that it is perfectly acceptable to blame "free will" when we screw up, but when we do or receive something good, we are immediately suppose to give God the credit for it. I have heard it more than once; someone gets in trouble or does something wrong, it is the fault of free will (and Satan), but if a person receives a gift or a promotion, then that's from God.
Really? Why? Why doesn't "free will" play a part in the good as well as the bad? If we have the free will to fuck up our lives, don't we also have the free will to fix them? Yes, we have the free will to snort that line, but we also have the free will to enter rehab (unless, of course, it is court ordered). We may have the choice to bounce from job to job, but we also have the choice to stick it out, bust our ass and work our way up. We can decide to have unprotected sex and breed senselessly, or we can decide to use condoms and birth control and not bring another unwanted baby into this world.
The truth is we do have free will, but we also have the ability decide if we are going to use it in a positive or negative fashion, and as far as I'm concerned, God really has nothing to do with it. In reality, free will is nothing more than our ethics, our conscience, and our knowledge of right and wrong, and if free will is going to be the reason for our punishment, then it should also be the factor behind our reward, and those who cannot exercise it should not be punished for it.
We all know the theory behind "free will"; Adam and Eve exercised it when they chose to eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and in this exercise of free will, they were disobedient and subsequently expelled from the Garden of Eden. Fair enough; to adults screw up and pay the price for their choice. But my problem is this: what about those who do not have conscious access to free will? Where is their protection until they do?
I have had this conversation with members of my group mainly about how it pertains to children, and my question has always been if God is suppose to be benevolent and loving, then why do children get born into poverty, why do they get beaten, why do they get molested and why do they die, often at the hands of those who are suppose to protect them? I have been told, in the greatest of faith, that it is because of our disobedience to God and because of our insistence on free will that the human race as a whole is subject to the punishment, and that includes the most defenseless among us. As an adult, I am perfectly willing to make my own choices, for whatever they are worth, and accept the outcome of those choices; however, a child does not have that right to choice.
A child does not choose to be born to a drug addict, or to be born in Africa, or to be abandoned in a dumpster, or to get cancer. A four year old will not opt to be molested by her mother's boyfriend; nor will a 9 year old say "yes" to becoming a toy for her stepfather, as well as becoming pregnant by him. No two year old I know would choose to be murdered by her mother, and an 8 year old is not going to ask to be stuffed into a suitcase. In short, these children do not have the free will so often touted as the cause for human misery. So where is God for these kids? Doesn't the Bible say, blessed are the children? If children are a gift and a blessing, shouldn't there be something in the contract that states they will be free from disease and torment and death until they are old enough to exercise the free will the rest of us are held accountable for?
The other issue I have with "free will" is that it is perfectly acceptable to blame "free will" when we screw up, but when we do or receive something good, we are immediately suppose to give God the credit for it. I have heard it more than once; someone gets in trouble or does something wrong, it is the fault of free will (and Satan), but if a person receives a gift or a promotion, then that's from God.
Really? Why? Why doesn't "free will" play a part in the good as well as the bad? If we have the free will to fuck up our lives, don't we also have the free will to fix them? Yes, we have the free will to snort that line, but we also have the free will to enter rehab (unless, of course, it is court ordered). We may have the choice to bounce from job to job, but we also have the choice to stick it out, bust our ass and work our way up. We can decide to have unprotected sex and breed senselessly, or we can decide to use condoms and birth control and not bring another unwanted baby into this world.
The truth is we do have free will, but we also have the ability decide if we are going to use it in a positive or negative fashion, and as far as I'm concerned, God really has nothing to do with it. In reality, free will is nothing more than our ethics, our conscience, and our knowledge of right and wrong, and if free will is going to be the reason for our punishment, then it should also be the factor behind our reward, and those who cannot exercise it should not be punished for it.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
There is a major difference between the religious and the not so much (ok...not at all), and that is where we look for inner strength when our lives end up turning inside out. I have had conversations with two good friends; one who is a believer and one who is not, about where each found the strength to not just go on, but to actually move in a different direction and to change things for the better. All three of us, my two friends and I, have had our fair share of personal world altering events, and each one of us has had to work hard to put things right again. We are all in different stages of this journey, but our approaches to dealing with our lives are substantially different.
If there is one thing that defines atheists, aside from the obvious lack of belief, it is that we know if we fuck up, its our own goddamn fault. There is no God or Satan or Heaven or Hell directing our lives; if something goes wrong, we know that 9 times out of 10, we did it to ourselves. Yeah, there are things that occur to mess up our existence which happen to be our of our control, but this is rarely the case; most of the time, we were just being stupid. The flip side is that we aren't willing to share credit with some unknown entity when we get it figured out. This isn't to say that we don't pull bits and pieces and whole chunks of support and encouragement from those around us, but the decision to actually put it to good use is ours alone.
The religious, on the other hand, often (not always) think everything happens for a reason, and a lot of times the bad things that do crop up are tests of faith. This gets tricky in the fact that a lot Christians are not going to make the same mistakes that some of the rest of us do - they aren't going to sneak that one last drink before trying to drive home, or punch someone in the face for some offhand comment, requiring the other person to get 10 stitches in his lip - but that doesn't mean Christians are immune to bad decision making. I know more than a few who have stayed in horrid marriages because that's what they believe God told them to do, or they try to suppress who they are and end up leading lives that are a lie, which often incites depression, anger and shattered families.
Either way, the situations are tough, and they take a lot of work to repair and to heal, and to heal, we need strength.
My one friend is convinced her strength will ultimately come from her faith in God, and from the faith of those around her. Of course, I'm no help in the faith department, but I am also not going to knock hers. She has been put through the wringer repeatedly, and yet she never gives up in her determination to keep going. She really believes deep in her heart that God is going to see her through all the trials and tribulations she has been facing, and if that helps her find her way back to herself, then more power to her. My shoulder is hers whenever she needs it, on the off chance God happens not to be around that day.
My other friend found his in being a parent; at some point he realized no one else was going to step up and be a father to this child he had created, and, therefore, it was time he did. In the process, he has not only become a damn good father, but an incredible man (although he swears the letters D, A, and D are being replaced with A, T, and M; oh, the joys of parenthood). He is fully willing to give credit to those who helped him to get where he is now, but he also worked his bloody ass off as well, and still does.
Me...my strength came from a weakness; I got sick. God didn't cause the ulcers to erupt in my stomach or my gallbladder to go bad; years of burying stress, anger and misery and eating shitty food did that. Getting sick forced me to change a lot about my life; not just about what I ate, but how I looked at things. I topped the scales at 180 pounds in April, which I realized wasn't pretty on a 5' frame. But as the weight started to come off, I started to feel better - a lot better. I had lost 35 pounds by the time I had surgery to repair some of the damage; by that time, people had really started to notice and tell me how much better I looked, and how I seemed happier. After the surgery, I decided to keep it up, and I've lost 50 pounds altogether, and I'm in better shape than I was at 20 (and I'm in better shape than a lot of 20 year olds, so please TAKE NOTE). For the first time in years, I feel good, and I'm happy, and it is helped me to take steps to address other issues in my life and deal with them for the better.
The other thing that gave me strength was reestablishing friendships I thought long gone, as well as making a few new connections; I had forgotten how it feels to laugh so hard at what is sometimes the stupidest shit in the world, and how a conversation about ill-fitting undies can take on a life of its own. It's wonderful to know these people again, while learning about others. I'm sure someone will say God brought these people into my life, but last time I checked, God didn't create Facebook.
Strength is what you make it, and you have to discover where to find it. We all have it, and now it is time to make good use of it...all of it.
If there is one thing that defines atheists, aside from the obvious lack of belief, it is that we know if we fuck up, its our own goddamn fault. There is no God or Satan or Heaven or Hell directing our lives; if something goes wrong, we know that 9 times out of 10, we did it to ourselves. Yeah, there are things that occur to mess up our existence which happen to be our of our control, but this is rarely the case; most of the time, we were just being stupid. The flip side is that we aren't willing to share credit with some unknown entity when we get it figured out. This isn't to say that we don't pull bits and pieces and whole chunks of support and encouragement from those around us, but the decision to actually put it to good use is ours alone.
The religious, on the other hand, often (not always) think everything happens for a reason, and a lot of times the bad things that do crop up are tests of faith. This gets tricky in the fact that a lot Christians are not going to make the same mistakes that some of the rest of us do - they aren't going to sneak that one last drink before trying to drive home, or punch someone in the face for some offhand comment, requiring the other person to get 10 stitches in his lip - but that doesn't mean Christians are immune to bad decision making. I know more than a few who have stayed in horrid marriages because that's what they believe God told them to do, or they try to suppress who they are and end up leading lives that are a lie, which often incites depression, anger and shattered families.
Either way, the situations are tough, and they take a lot of work to repair and to heal, and to heal, we need strength.
My one friend is convinced her strength will ultimately come from her faith in God, and from the faith of those around her. Of course, I'm no help in the faith department, but I am also not going to knock hers. She has been put through the wringer repeatedly, and yet she never gives up in her determination to keep going. She really believes deep in her heart that God is going to see her through all the trials and tribulations she has been facing, and if that helps her find her way back to herself, then more power to her. My shoulder is hers whenever she needs it, on the off chance God happens not to be around that day.
My other friend found his in being a parent; at some point he realized no one else was going to step up and be a father to this child he had created, and, therefore, it was time he did. In the process, he has not only become a damn good father, but an incredible man (although he swears the letters D, A, and D are being replaced with A, T, and M; oh, the joys of parenthood). He is fully willing to give credit to those who helped him to get where he is now, but he also worked his bloody ass off as well, and still does.
Me...my strength came from a weakness; I got sick. God didn't cause the ulcers to erupt in my stomach or my gallbladder to go bad; years of burying stress, anger and misery and eating shitty food did that. Getting sick forced me to change a lot about my life; not just about what I ate, but how I looked at things. I topped the scales at 180 pounds in April, which I realized wasn't pretty on a 5' frame. But as the weight started to come off, I started to feel better - a lot better. I had lost 35 pounds by the time I had surgery to repair some of the damage; by that time, people had really started to notice and tell me how much better I looked, and how I seemed happier. After the surgery, I decided to keep it up, and I've lost 50 pounds altogether, and I'm in better shape than I was at 20 (and I'm in better shape than a lot of 20 year olds, so please TAKE NOTE). For the first time in years, I feel good, and I'm happy, and it is helped me to take steps to address other issues in my life and deal with them for the better.
The other thing that gave me strength was reestablishing friendships I thought long gone, as well as making a few new connections; I had forgotten how it feels to laugh so hard at what is sometimes the stupidest shit in the world, and how a conversation about ill-fitting undies can take on a life of its own. It's wonderful to know these people again, while learning about others. I'm sure someone will say God brought these people into my life, but last time I checked, God didn't create Facebook.
Strength is what you make it, and you have to discover where to find it. We all have it, and now it is time to make good use of it...all of it.
Monday, November 15, 2010
The same thing has happened twice this year, and it proves that we have taken political correctness way too far in this country. The first happened in May when kids in one California school were chastised for wearing shirts with the American flag on Cinco de Mayo, and the second happened this past week when a boy was told to remove the American flag from his bicycle.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/05/06/2010-05-06_california_kids_blasted_for_wearing_american_flag_shirts_on_cinco_de_mayo.html
http://www.fox40.com/news/headlines/ktxl-americanflagbike11122010,0,3045879.htmlstory
I'm sorry (actually, I'm not), but this is bullshit, especially when the reason turns out to be the same in both cases, and that reason is because people whose heritage stems from a different country are offended.
In the case in California, some Hispanic students complained because they thought the kids who wore the shirts with the American flags on them were "insensitive" to a day that was special in Mexico; however, there's a problem with that...the holiday isn't a national Mexican holiday, has very little to do with Mexican independence (that is celebrated on September 16, but Cinco de Mayo is a lot easier to drink to than diez y seis de septiembre), and it isn't widely celebrated in Mexico. Cinco de Mayo represents the victory of the Mexican army over the French at the Battle of Puebla in 1862, and it is still celebrated in the state of Puebla, but that's as far as it goes. Yet it has become big business in the United States, and now it seems at the expense of our own flag.
The second incident stemmed from complaints, again, about how it was offensive to be able to fly the American flag on the back of a bicycle when the Mexican flag couldn't be brought to school. Are you fucking kidding me? Last time I checked, I don't live in Mexico, I live in the United States. I don't go to Mexico and expect to be allowed to fly the American flag everywhere (and I don't expect translators, either; I speak Spanish fluently), and I don't see why the Mexican flag should be allowed to take precedence over our own flag here; it infuriates me that we have become such a nation of pussies that we cannot take a stand for what that flag represents. And what angers me even more is that the people complaining the loudest most likely weren't born in Mexico...they were born here, in the United States, which entitles them to the best this country has to offer, including the right to enjoy their heritage.
I am not trying to be racist, and I have no problem with the celebration of Mexican/Hispanic culture; but the celebration of this culture, or any culture, should not supersede the homogeneity that United States was meant to be. We are a melting pot, not a bunch of little side dishes all demanding equal footing at the buffet table, and our flag represents this homogeneity. When we start teaching our children that this is no longer the case, and, in fact, start punishing them for standing behind our flag, then we begin to erode the unity that has made this country great for over 200 hundred years. And that's not fair...not fair to the Founding Fathers, nor to the people who have lived for, fought for, and died for this country, and that includes some people who are very, very close to my own heart, and to whom I have more respect than I can ever convey.
The United States has always entertained a variety in its populations: Republican or Democrat; Liberal or Conservative; Christian or Atheist; but the one thing we have always had is patriotism, and this patriotism has allowed the Christian and the Atheist and the Democrat and the Republican and the Liberal and the Conservative to stand together in defense of our nation. This is why I insist my children stand every day with their classmates and say the Pledge of Allegiance (complete with the "One Nation Under God" part), and why I make sure they learn our history. I want them to be proud of who they are and where they come from, and I don't want them to ever feel the necessity to bow to another nation's flag...unless they move there.
To my veteran friends - Thank you, and I will always be proud of our flag because of you.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/05/06/2010-05-06_california_kids_blasted_for_wearing_american_flag_shirts_on_cinco_de_mayo.html
http://www.fox40.com/news/headlines/ktxl-americanflagbike11122010,0,3045879.htmlstory
I'm sorry (actually, I'm not), but this is bullshit, especially when the reason turns out to be the same in both cases, and that reason is because people whose heritage stems from a different country are offended.
In the case in California, some Hispanic students complained because they thought the kids who wore the shirts with the American flags on them were "insensitive" to a day that was special in Mexico; however, there's a problem with that...the holiday isn't a national Mexican holiday, has very little to do with Mexican independence (that is celebrated on September 16, but Cinco de Mayo is a lot easier to drink to than diez y seis de septiembre), and it isn't widely celebrated in Mexico. Cinco de Mayo represents the victory of the Mexican army over the French at the Battle of Puebla in 1862, and it is still celebrated in the state of Puebla, but that's as far as it goes. Yet it has become big business in the United States, and now it seems at the expense of our own flag.
The second incident stemmed from complaints, again, about how it was offensive to be able to fly the American flag on the back of a bicycle when the Mexican flag couldn't be brought to school. Are you fucking kidding me? Last time I checked, I don't live in Mexico, I live in the United States. I don't go to Mexico and expect to be allowed to fly the American flag everywhere (and I don't expect translators, either; I speak Spanish fluently), and I don't see why the Mexican flag should be allowed to take precedence over our own flag here; it infuriates me that we have become such a nation of pussies that we cannot take a stand for what that flag represents. And what angers me even more is that the people complaining the loudest most likely weren't born in Mexico...they were born here, in the United States, which entitles them to the best this country has to offer, including the right to enjoy their heritage.
I am not trying to be racist, and I have no problem with the celebration of Mexican/Hispanic culture; but the celebration of this culture, or any culture, should not supersede the homogeneity that United States was meant to be. We are a melting pot, not a bunch of little side dishes all demanding equal footing at the buffet table, and our flag represents this homogeneity. When we start teaching our children that this is no longer the case, and, in fact, start punishing them for standing behind our flag, then we begin to erode the unity that has made this country great for over 200 hundred years. And that's not fair...not fair to the Founding Fathers, nor to the people who have lived for, fought for, and died for this country, and that includes some people who are very, very close to my own heart, and to whom I have more respect than I can ever convey.
The United States has always entertained a variety in its populations: Republican or Democrat; Liberal or Conservative; Christian or Atheist; but the one thing we have always had is patriotism, and this patriotism has allowed the Christian and the Atheist and the Democrat and the Republican and the Liberal and the Conservative to stand together in defense of our nation. This is why I insist my children stand every day with their classmates and say the Pledge of Allegiance (complete with the "One Nation Under God" part), and why I make sure they learn our history. I want them to be proud of who they are and where they come from, and I don't want them to ever feel the necessity to bow to another nation's flag...unless they move there.
To my veteran friends - Thank you, and I will always be proud of our flag because of you.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
I have a question for some of my Christian friends who follow this blog (whether they admit it or not):
My girls go to church. I haven't hidden the fact from them that I'm not a believer, but I have decided to not force my lack of belief on them. We all make decisions and determinations in our lives, and we deal with whatever the consequences of our choices may be. My oldest has been very frank with me about her desire to learn about God and to establish a "relationship" with him/her/it, and I see no reason to counter that desire with my absolute lack of.
We have actually had several discussions about it, and I usually end up telling her the same thing: the only person who can make this choice is you. If you truly want to go to church and learn about the Bible the way that whatever church you attend teaches you, then I will encourage you to do so, because the more you know, the better equipped you become to choose. And if you ultimately decide that you want to be a Christian, then I will support and respect this decision, as long as you respect my decision not to be. I also have no problem with her asking me questions about something that was said, or the sermon that was preached, because I want her to know both sides of the issue.
So here is my question...does this door open both ways?
If you are a Christian, and your child comes to you and says he or she no longer believes (or perhaps never did), how would you handle it? Are you going to accept your child's proclamation, and allow him or her to stop going to church, but leave yourself open to the option that one day he or she might return to a life of faith? Or are you going to insist your child keeps going to church every Sunday in hopes that somehow this loss of faith is only temporary, or that the belief will somehow force its way back in?
I am not knocking Christians, because I know atheists who are just as adamant that their children grow up to be nonbelievers; however, I don't believe you can lead your child's life for him (or her), and there are some things they just have to decide for themselves.
So tell me...what would you do? How would you handle it?
My girls go to church. I haven't hidden the fact from them that I'm not a believer, but I have decided to not force my lack of belief on them. We all make decisions and determinations in our lives, and we deal with whatever the consequences of our choices may be. My oldest has been very frank with me about her desire to learn about God and to establish a "relationship" with him/her/it, and I see no reason to counter that desire with my absolute lack of.
We have actually had several discussions about it, and I usually end up telling her the same thing: the only person who can make this choice is you. If you truly want to go to church and learn about the Bible the way that whatever church you attend teaches you, then I will encourage you to do so, because the more you know, the better equipped you become to choose. And if you ultimately decide that you want to be a Christian, then I will support and respect this decision, as long as you respect my decision not to be. I also have no problem with her asking me questions about something that was said, or the sermon that was preached, because I want her to know both sides of the issue.
So here is my question...does this door open both ways?
If you are a Christian, and your child comes to you and says he or she no longer believes (or perhaps never did), how would you handle it? Are you going to accept your child's proclamation, and allow him or her to stop going to church, but leave yourself open to the option that one day he or she might return to a life of faith? Or are you going to insist your child keeps going to church every Sunday in hopes that somehow this loss of faith is only temporary, or that the belief will somehow force its way back in?
I am not knocking Christians, because I know atheists who are just as adamant that their children grow up to be nonbelievers; however, I don't believe you can lead your child's life for him (or her), and there are some things they just have to decide for themselves.
So tell me...what would you do? How would you handle it?
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