The other day, my daughter came home with a Social Studies assignment that ended up being more than just an assignment. What should have been a benign, read the questions and find the answers in your text book, endeavor has turned into a three day conversation about religion, beliefs, and my views on both. It's my fault, really; if I had simply helped her find the answers, the whole thing would have been done and over with. However, in a moment of frustration, I popped off about something in the text, and it has been all downhill from there.
The textbook she is studying describes the exodus as a literal historical event, and considers Moses an actual person, despite the fact that there is very little, if any, historical evidence to back anything written in the book of Exodus, and I have a problem with that. What started our conversation, though, was the almost imperceptible mention of the Code of Hammurabi, and how that code helped establish many of the laws in not only ancient Babylonian civilization, but other ancient civilizations as well. While similar laws existed in all the ancient civilizations, the Code of Hammurabi was the first to solidify the laws in written form; a codex, if you will. Her textbook not only downplayed the importance of the Code of Hammurabi, but also failed to acknowledge that it predates the Torah by at least a 1,000 years, if not more, and mentions only in passing that the 10 Commandments, given a great deal of print time, "may" have been based, in part, on the Code of Hammurabi (I also had to point out that more than a few of the stories in the Bible were "borrowed" from other legends).
By the time I was done ranting about this, my daughter was looking at me like I was from another planet.
But what really, really got the whole conversation going was the discussion of the 10 Commandments and their effect on moral law. Her textbook talks about Moses going to Mount Sinai and getting the commandments directly from God (this is where I really should have just kept my mouth shut, but didn't), and then delivering them to his people. While she's reading this to me, I'm just shaking my head. When she was done, I told her I had just explained what the basis for the 10 Commandments was, and then she said the magic words: "I don't get it. This says the 10 Commandments came from God."
Of course, I could not let that go.
Now, I've never hid my beliefs, or lack thereof, from my daughter, but I also don't normally make a big deal about them, nor try to interject them into our every day lives. However, this time, I couldn't let it go. So I stopped what I was doing and squared it off with her. I told her that the 10 Commandments came from man, not from God; God was just getting the credit whether he/she/it wanted it or not. I then told her the main difference between the Torah, and specifically the 10 Commandments, and the Code of Hammurabi, was that the former was the first to establish a monotheist, as opposed to a polytheistic, society. Then, continuing my little tirade, I pointed out that the "moral" aspects of the 10 Commandments were far different in that time period than they are now. I picked "thou shall not commit adultery" to make my point (good one, I know). I said that had nothing to do with moral law, and everything to do with property law, because in that day and age, women weren't people...they were property.
I told her to go read her Bible; men often had more than one wife, as well as concubines (and I had to stop and explain concubines), and in fact, if it had been one man-one woman, we would have only had the 6 tribes of Israel, instead of 12 (had to explain that one, too). But the reason this law was so important was because it established property ownership and inheritance lines; women could not own property (since they were property); therefore, they had to depend on the men in their family to care for them - first their fathers, then their brothers, then their husbands, then their sons - and it was imperative that the familial lines remain pure, so there was a clear knowledge of who a child's, especially a son's, father was. If there was any doubt at all, then not only did a son lose his birthright, but the woman lost her protection and support.
And I should have just kept my mouth shut, because by that time...well, I'm sure you get the idea.
So she asked me if I believed in the 10 Commandments, I told her they had their place, but we needed to remember the context of their origins. She was quiet for a while, we finished the assignment, and I thought that was the end of it.
But the questions started coming: "Mom, are you proud to be an atheist?"; "Mom, if I want to be a Christian, are you going to be mad?"; "Mom, can I read the Bible?"; and so on and so on and so on. After three days of this, I decided I had better just hit the issue head on.
I told her first and foremost, I loved her dearly. I then told her that religion was much more than a choice; it was a journey each person had to take for him or herself, and while I could help her navigate it, I couldn't determine the outcome for her. I told her if she chose Christianity, I would respect her decision without question, and that the only thing I expected from her was to realize that there were other religions and other faiths in this world, and she needed to understand and respect those who had a faith different from hers, or no faith at all. She seemed cool with that...for now; however, I am sure this conversation is far from over.
The reason I say that is because as I looked through her textbook, I saw discussions of David and Solomon and a few other Biblical notables and events. I'm just glad I didn't see any discussions about Bab edh-Dhra and Numeira (better known as Sodom and Gomorrah; by the way, did you know there was actually four cities destroyed, and not just two?)...I'd have a hell of a time explaining that.
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