I posted this very question on a forum I belong to, and got a real eye opener at the answers I received. Not to dog on people of faith, but the responses between the religious on this forum and the non-religious was vastly different and the absolute opposite of what one would think. With little exception, the non-religious said the issue needed to be dealt with; that a child should not feel threatened or intimidated simply because he or she was gay, from another country, or whatever; however, the more religious members of the forum stated bullying has always been around, nothing has changed, and the kids just need to learn to deal with it, and if we, as a society, didn't devalue life so much, then these kids wouldn't be turning to suicide.
Really...
The one quote that really caught my attention, though, was this one:
We can change ourselves. Through prayer (i.e. communing with God) we can alter the fabric of our identity. It is better to concentrate on one or two things, than to try and fix everything all at once.
So...what this guy is saying is that if the bullied child prays enough, he or she can become less gay, less Croatian, less disabled, and, therefore, less of a target. Someone please tell me just what I am missing here? Another poster said that Christian children aren't taught to hate gay people, they are taught that homosexuality is wrong; but while we can hate the sin, we can still love the "sinner". My question is, just how many kids have the common sense to differentiate the two? And that still doesn't explain why a girl from Croatia was taunted so badly that she tied one end of a rope to her bedpost, the other end to her neck, and then jumped out the window where her sister found her body hanging over their front lawn.
She wasn't gay...she was just different.
The other interesting aspect of all of the suicides is that the school staff were ignorant of what was happening, even when the parents of the children confronted the staff about what was happening to their kids. I have seen repeatedly where those who are suppose to be in charge said they didn't realize there was a problem. Doesn't it make you wonder why? Why don't they see the problem, even when confronted by the parents after their son has been pushed down a flight of stairs? Or their daughter is getting text messages calling her Slutty Jina Vagina during school hours? Why are they missing it? Are they really, or do they just not want to see it?
And what happens to the bullies when they accomplish their mission, and the child is no longer in their school, or in this world, for that matter? There have been investigations, but I have often seen the same conclusion drawn: "there was no real evidence of criminal activity." So...there was no stalking, no harassment, no assault and battery...which means these kids are never dealt with, so they are able to go on and find another target. Another person smaller or weaker or gay or disabled or different, and the cycle starts all over again.
I have dealt with the issue of bullying with my own two children, and they know it will not be tolerated, whether they are the victims or the perpetrators (and some spirit help them if they ever are the perpetrator, because they will find out hell is very real, and they will be living in it). I have taught them from the time they were little that every person deserves to be treated with respect, and that bullying is wrong. I have also taught them that defending themselves against a bully is perfectly acceptable, and if they are ever physically attacked, they have my permission to knock that person on his or her ass, and I will deal with any consequences. They are never to pick a fight, but if a fight is picked with them...
But teaching children to defend themselves is only one part of the equation; there is the other part, which is why some kids think it's alright to bully another child. I often wonder what the parents are teaching their children, and if the Golden Rule somehow only applies in certain situations. We have all been taught at some point to do unto others as we would have done unto us, but I seriously doubt these bullies would want that rule applied.
Sladjana Vidovic couldn't even find peace after death; at her funeral, some of the girls who had taunted her and harassed her walked up to her casket and continued to mock her and laugh at her in front of her grieving family.
That level of cruelty just cannot be explained.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101008/ap_on_re_us/us_bullying_one_town
This blog was written in memory of Sladjana Vidvovic, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Tyler Clementi, and Billy Lucas. Although I knew none of you personally, my heart goes out to you and your families. May you all, finally, rest in peace.
A final note:
Should you be interested in reading the forum thread in which one said that they should have prayed more, here's the link:
http://www.chron.com/commons/forums.html?plckForumPage=ForumDiscussion&plckDiscussionId=Cat%3a3a6ace78-9ae1-4169-a425-36d95040c25fForum%3a9e383437-9616-4b1a-9b1c-cbb81452bc51Discussion%3a1b6a8021-1cc3-43c9-a37e-dd794ce9d789&plckCurrentPage=0
I am Dellabonna on this forum, since they wouldn't let me have Belladonna. Either way, it's poisonous, and it fits.
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