Every so often we all have someone come into our lives who leave such a mark, good or bad, that no matter how far away they go, or how much time has passed, or even if death has claimed them, we can never let that person go.  I have been fortunate enough to have someone like that not just once, but three times.  Each of these people has changed me and the way I look at my world in some way.

Today would have been one of these people's 38th birthday if cancer hadn't claimed him in 2008 at 35.  I could go on for a while about what if felt like when I opened the paper and saw his obituary, but why?  Instead, he is one I would rather remember him as I knew him; strong, tough, defiant, and full of ego and shit.  He and his buddies "ruled the cruise" in our day, and everyone knew when he was in town.  He was the quintessential bad boy; nothing and no one ever phased him.  And he drove me absolutely crazy.

I will never forget the time he and his friends decided to go camping, and it was somehow determined that I was going, too.  I remember standing there thinking he was just flaming crazy if he thought for a second that I was going anywhere with them; it was almost 10 o'clock at night in October and it was COLD...and anyone who knows me knows if there is one thing I cannot stand, it is being cold.  I told him repeatedly which end of my ass he could kiss, and he just kept looking at me with that cocky ass smile of his.  Next thing I knew, I was loaded up in a truck, and I was going camping.

I froze my ass off that night, and by morning, I was ready to kill him; that sentiment didn't change when he, suffering from a hangover no less, dropped a cooler in front of me and asked me how long until breakfast.  I was like, I am not cooking breakfast.  He just said, "Well, what do you think we brought you for?", and we weren't leaving until I fixed breakfast.  I think I invented names to call him on the way home.

We lost touch after he went into the military, but I never forgot him.  Then, when I saw him several years later, there was no mistaking those blue eyes and that cocky ass smile, and there's no forgetting them, either.

The second one is a friend who I use to raise holy hell with, and who I am now regaining a closeness to because, even though our lives took very different paths, we have endured the same trials, tribulations and struggles.  There is a kindred there; we have both battled with depression, which means we have a unique kind of understanding and support for each other.  There is a certain level of strength that I gain from her, and that she gains from me.

The third...well, that one defies explanation, because I can't define how this person has affected my life so greatly; I just know, and I'm glad I do (whether this person has figured this out or not, I don't know...but I'm good with that).

I guess the best anyone can ever hope for is to have just one person like my three, because they are the ones who help make our lives special; they give us our memories (although some are sometimes painful), and they give us something to look forward to.  They provide us connections to our pasts, conversations for our present, and reasons to look toward the future.  I know my life would not be the same without these people in it.

In Memory of Jesse Neal Simpson, Jr.

November 13, 1972 - May 13, 2008

May you forever be at peace...